You possess a wealth of ideas and information that you can gift to others.
by guest Contributor Diana Nichols

(Chapter excerpted from the book, 42 Rules of Effective Connections)
One of the easiest ways to really connect with someone, and make an impression, is to give them a gift that has real value to them.

Notice the last part of the sentence: ”value to them.” Many times we give gifts that mostly have value to us – promotional items with our logo on them, business cards, brochures, etc. Occasionally, we give away free samples or coupons. These are good things, but hardly memorable. And most are seen as self-serving.

The gifts I’m referring to are not tangible things, but rather ideas. You possess a wealth of ideas and information that you can gift to others. You know people, you’ve had many life experiences, you have knowledge about your business. There’s a lot of stuff in your memory banks!

Any marketing guru will tell you that one of your basic tools is a list of tips and techniques that you should share freely. I’ll bet you can lay your hands on one, or ten, such lists right now. This is a great place to start in creating your “gift basket.”

Before you run off to the copy machine to make 1000 copies, let me say that the most effective way to give these away is one at a time, in your one-on-one conversations. (The conversation can be in person, on the phone, or via email.)

Look over the lists of tips. Find a few that are really meaningful, and not as widely known as others. These are the ones you want to use. Memorize and be ready to call them up.

Now, let’s add some more gifts to your repertoire. Looking over your “tips” list, are there any other tidbits that you’ve learned that have been especially helpful?

How about ideas or techniques you use in other areas of your life? Ways you manage your daily life that perhaps not everyone uses. Bet you have a few of those. They don’t have to be your original idea, just things that work for you – or someone you know.

Keep going. . .

You can add all the people you know well enough to be able to recommend them.

Also, make a list (mental or physical) of the helpful books and articles you’ve read lately.

Wow, your basket’s getting bigger! You have a lot of gifts to share.

And the best part is that now you have created the basket, you’ll be on the lookout for new ideas and people to add to it. It will just keep growing!

So what do you do with all these gifts? Look for opportunities to give them away.

When you make a connection, listen carefully to the other person. If you are really paying attention, you will often hear a clear clue as to what you can share that might be valuable to them. If you don’t – ask.

What’s your biggest challenge right now?

What would make you more successful?

How can I help you?

Use your own words, and be sincere. Even if you still can’t find anything really pertinent to give, at the very least you have given them the gift of caring enough to ask!

Just a few words about sharing your personal knowledge and experiences. The value in your experience for someone else is not the “story” about it. The who, where, how, and why are only relevant to you. It’s the in the what that the value lies for them. Just the facts, Ma’am. Share the lesson learned, the result, the essence. Make it short and to the point.

And finally, make sure your gift sounds like a gift – not like advice: Have you ever thought of…? I’ve had success with… Have you read…? Do you know…?

Giving is, after all, the best way to receive!

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With over 30 years of business and entrepreneurial success, Diana brings knowledge, grounded wisdom, enthusiasm, and a wealth of creative resources to everything she does.

As a web and database developer, business and life coach, workshop creator and facilitator, artist and successful entrepreneur, Diana assists her clients in combining creativity, simplicity, practicality and a sense of adventure into a unique experience of success.

Diana Nichols, LCC

www.lavenderthreads.com

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42 Rules of Effective Connections is available at 42 Rules [ http://42rules.com/bonnierossparker/books/], Happy About [ http://www.happyabout.com/42rules/effectiveconnections.php], Amazon [ http://www.amazon.com/42-Rules-Effective-Connections-Successful/dp/1607730464 ] and other fine retailers.

Curiosity is a vital, risk free networking tool.
by guest Contributor Susan Brown
(Chapter excerpted from the book “42 Rules of Effective Connections”)
I grant you that being curious can have dangerous side effects. You have probably heard the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” and read about the exploits of Curious George the famous monkey whose extreme inquisitiveness spawned mayhem and mishap. However, I assure you that curiosity is a vital, risk free networking tool.

I love trying to discover people’s hidden passions. I once asked a woman at a Joy of Connecting meeting what she loved to do but was not doing. When she said teaching I knew I had found a co-facilitator for one of my workshops for not only was she a knowledge expert in her field but she had a passion waiting to be tapped. That single response yielded a great return on my investment of one curious question.

I am also really curious about people’s values. At a networking luncheon I found myself next to a woman who had just reached the upper echelons of Mary Kay Cosmetics and had the coveted pink car to prove it. I have to admit that I initially thought that we would have very little to talk about as our companies, coaching and cosmetics, seemed worlds apart. But then, thankfully, my curiosity about her success kicked in: “What do you do that makes you so successful?”

She perked up and told me that her success was due to her persistency, passion and practice. Those memorable answers came straight from her heart revealing her values. By finding out what really “drives” her success, I was rewarded with a deeper connection, a great success story and several success qualities to integrate into my Boot Camps for Success.

Cu-ri-ous
Adjective
1. Eager to learn or know; inquisitive.
The nosy neighbor who may be shunned for being too “eager to learn or know” would be welcomed for this “virtuous” trait at a networking event. Elias Baumgarten in Curiosity as a Moral Virtue says:
Curiosity is especially important in deepening one’s care and concern for another person because even in a close relationship, much that one needs to know and understand about another person in order to care deeply will not be apparent without active seeking.

(Excerpt from essay published in International Journal of Applied Philosophy, Fall 2001)
How can you use your curiosity to develop more interesting and deeper relationships?
It’s perfectly fine to start with the usual kinds of questions we all ask:
What do you do?
How long have you been in business?
How did you get started?
Who are your clients?
After one or two of these questions, shift into the land of curiosity where the treasures are hiding. I have found it much easier to connect with and care for people when they answer questions about their values, dreams, desires, passions or challenges:
What has been your greatest job challenge? How did you overcome it?
What do you like best about what you do?
To what do you attribute your success?
What do you do in your job that gives you the most energy?
What are you hoping to get out of this event (networking, conference, class)?

Don’t be afraid to show your care by asking curious, thoughtful questions that stimulate meaningful conversations. You will be rewarded by responses that are like puzzle pieces waiting to be connected to reveal more of the real, whole person.

If you are willing to go confidently into uncharted territories with a detective mindset and a caring attitude you will enhance your connections. I guarantee that by exercising a curious mind not only will you survive (unlike the poor cat) but your relationships will thrive.

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Susan Brown is a certified coach, consultant and founder of Impact Coaching. She works with highly motivated individuals to create high performance work environments where professional and personal excellence are the norm. Reach her at: www.impactcoaching-empower.com

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“42 Rules of Effective Connections” is available at 42 Rules [ http://42rules.com/bonnierossparker/books/], Happy About [ http://www.happyabout.com/42rules/effectiveconnections.php], Amazon [ http://www.amazon.com/42-Rules-Effective-Connections-Successful/dp/1607730464 ] and other fine retailers.