“What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life, to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the last moment of last parting?”
~ George Eliot

How powerful it can be when we recognize that marriage has the potential of creating a beautiful union of two individuals. Through marriage a husband and wife build history together, and through this shared voyage can create a growing and deepening love each other. Marriage is a continuum of time where individuality evolves into oneness.

What I love about being married is that our relationship is continuously reinventing itself. It changes according to the circumstances in which we find ourselves. Sometimes I am on the giving end; sometimes on the receiving. We are passing through the stages of shared married by first and foremost committing to the relationship. For example, each of us is willing to take risks in communicating our feelings to each other along the journey. A strong marriage encourages the sharing of one’s separate, real self. Self-disclosure as an act of trust creates closeness and security. When my husband and I verbalize our mutual our marriage becomes stronger.

Marital partners are committed, not only to the relationship, but to the growth of each other throughout the marriage. There needs to exist an environment that encourages the development of both individuals. My experience has been that each partner has to feel fulfilled, affirmed, and comfortable with his or her own identity. How wonderful the feeling that comes from having a separate, satisfying life with a partner who also feels self- satisfaction. In fact, marriage is best served when each partner grows individually as well as together. It’s also about empathy, closeness, acceptance, flexibility, and appreciation for one another. Marriage thrives when there is trust, open communication, stability, caring, emotional security, and the realization that we are not alone. I like belonging exclusively to my husband while simultaneously creating my own life purpose. An analogy that comes to mind is picturing a kite’s string securely fastened or held to the ground while the kite is able to move, explore, and experience the sky. The kite is both free and secure. A great marriage offers freedom and security as well. It thrives on each other’s accomplishes, supports individual set backs, and fosters equality.

In today’s uncertain world, if you have the good fortune of being in a fulfilling partnership, I encourage you to treasure your partner and your relationship.

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Speak of What You Want

There are two ways to address expectations. The first is what we expect from others. The second are the expectations we place on ourselves. Throughout my life’s journey I have discovered when ever I place my expectations on others, I am frequently disappointed. I wonder why I didn’t receive a thank you note, why someone didn’t reciprocate for something I did, or I question someone’s lack of appreciation after giving of myself on their behalf. When I operate from a place of expectation, I set myself up for disappointment. Every time I repeat the pattern I get the same result. Perhaps, there is a lesson I’m overlooking.

If, on the other hand, I hold myself accountable for the expectations I place on myself, I take full responsibility for my actions. It doesn’t matter if others are noticing. Setting high standards makes every day worth the continuous effort. By committing to constant and never ending improvement, I increase my self-worth, my self-esteem, and my self-confidence. I become my own best example of what is possible!

Our limitations and success are based for the most part, on the expectations we place upon ourselves. What we focus on manifests in our lives. In other words, what we confidently expect becomes our own selffulfilling prophecy. The only way you can accomplish anything is to believe in yourself and your abilities. In order to win, you must expect to win; your actions in life produce abundance in life. When you look for results from any where outside of yourself, you are setting yourself up to be let down. You are the primary cause for your results. The choices you make, in effect, produce the outcome.

Martial Artist, Bruce Lee, said of expectations, “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” What a relief to live life knowing that the only person for whom we are responsible is our self! I have to constantly remind myself that I do what I do, not because of what I expect from others, but rather, because I set my own standard of expectation. I expect to give and play all out. I expect positive results to happen because of my effort. We advance in our journey to the degree that we accomplish the goals we set for ourselves. Our reward comes from within ~ a job done well, or an obstacle you’ve overcome. Be a master of your own expectations and you’ll be too busy to wonder whether anyone is noticing. Surprises generally happen when you least expect them. Someone will recognize and acknowledge your accomplishment.

Lighten Your Day and Someone Else’s

Have you noticed how stressed people are? Running from home to office to home again with all the challenges that occur in between it’s no wonder people forget to take time to appreciate what they have and smile. Often when I pull along side another car and we’re both waiting for the light to change I’ll turn to my neighbor and smile. I usually get the gift of a smile in return. Most smiles are started by another smile and produce a ripple effect. A smile offers kindness. It may be the only source of sunshine the recipient sees all day long. Smiles are free, harmless, and contagious.

Smiling gives you a positive countenance that makes people feel comfortable around you. Smiles suggest goodness, caring, and well-being. There are hundreds of languages in the world. A smile speaks them all. People smile in the same language and communicate a universal message.

A smile reflects an open heart. It tells others you are acknowledging them. Smiling at someone can lessen their stress, even for a brief moment, because you are sending them a warm signal.

For me, smiling is a habit. In the course of a day I greet everyone with a smile. Whether at the post office, toll booth, supermarket, gas station, in a waiting room, in the library, or at a restaurant, the people with whom I come in contact experience my smile. My smile says I see them, appreciate them, and value their presence. Just thinking that a smile of mine might linger the whole day through and lighten a heavy heart is reason enough to smile!

When we smile in recognition of one another, we demonstrate greater appreciation for each other. The world needs our smiles; people need connection. Think about the impact your smile can have on someone else. Think about the difference we can make when we each exercise the gift of our smiles. The next time you feel stressed or you see others dealing with the stresses of their lives, give the gift of your smile. It frees your spirit. It shifts your focus. Smiles are powerful because they lift others and lighten your way. Why hold back?

Braggin Rights

When we first learned we were to be grandparents, I promised my husband I would not carry pictures and boast about our grandchild the way we had witnessed similar behavior among our friends. Well, I have to admit that is one promise I failed to keep!

Until I actually became a grandmother, I couldn’t possibly have imagined the joy a grandchild would bring, the fun it would create, and the pleasurable experiences we would have. For some of us, including myself, we were so busy “parenting” that many of the daily developments of our growing children escaped notice because of all our other responsibilities.

This is not true when one becomes a grandparent. I often joke that my grandson is the only person that can keep me from doing what I thought was important. Grandchildren are joyful, free entertainment. Every single action, sound, new accomplishment is met with incredible enthusiasm and pride. By their very nature, they are curious, delightful, and full of laughter. We can sing, dance, clap hands, jump, play and read together with no other cares or concerns but to be together.

One of my favorite shared experiences is bath time. It’s fun to be splashed by water, blow bath bubbles at each other, sink floating toys, and tickle shriveled toes. I can sit and watch my grandson for a long time as he collects water in his plastic cup, pours it on his head and belly and laughs. Even wrapping him up afterward in a warm towel and holding him close is cause for celebration.

Grandchildren are angels in life form. They are loving spirits, innocent, beautiful, precious and special. Their only responsibility is to learn, observe, experiment, and show us by example that life is a miracle. It’s fascinating to watch young children. They marvel at their toes, fingers and belly-button, giggle when they smile, and take delight in all their surroundings.

All children are love. They awaken in us awe and wonderment. Perhaps I was too young and too busy to take all this in when my children were young. At least at this stage in my life I get to revisit those experiences through my grandchildren! Just ask me! I’d be delighted to tell you about all four of my grandsons.

Share You With All Of Us

Why does it appear that some women seem fulfilled in their lives, participating in the journey with clarity and purpose. Others re-create the same day, every day? What is that shift in consciousness that can expand one’s reality and look at life and the world differently? I believe the answer is, “Give what YOU need to others and the world will reward you abundantly by satisfying YOUR need.”

Those who are generous receive generosity, those who acknowledge receive acknowledgement, those who serve are praised for their good deeds, those who listen are heard, and for those who contribute financially, money flows back. It seems so simple. Share what you need. I call this process, “recycling”. We breathe in the air we need and return the rest to the universe. In the same way, if we exemplify what we desire, the universe gives it back to us. Take what we need, give back the rest. Give what we need, and receive back the same.

People who experience fulfilling and meaningful lives understand the universal principle of “recycling”. They are working for great causes, supporting charities, acknowledging others, helping fellow travelers building their own dreams. When you understand this ebb and flow, the exchange of ideas, and value the needs of others you feel connected.

Connection creates the wonderful reward of being “part of” not “apart from” Embrace “recycling” in your daily life! If you want more, give more. If you need understanding, understand others. Choose to be connected. Each of us are an integral part of the living universe. Your contribution is essential to the well-being of the rest of us. Be a contributor. Share your talents.