That was my question when the concept of The Joy of Connecting was first introduced to me. I was looking for opportunities to introduce my company to new groups, and I thought that starting a JOC chapter might be a good business move.

Now, almost 2 years later, I can say it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. What I was hoping to get out of JOC was far less than actually happened. The quality women who attend both of my JOCs each month are not business associates. They are my friends, my lifelines, my cheerleaders, and my shoulders to cry on. My business is flourishing, but more importantly, women are forming lasting, impactful relationships.

We are making a difference in our communities and have much more impact together than alone. We are referring one another to acquaintances. We are working hard to draw area women together at women’s networking groups throughout the Metro Detroit area.

JOC is so much more than business. Give it a try. It will change your life.

Is parenting ever easy? Maybe there is truth to the saying, “ When kids are young the challenges are small; the older they get, the bigger the challenges.” I’m grateful I didn’t hear that message until AFTER my children were born!

I’m hopeful that as you read this, regardless of whether you are coming from a place of being someone’s child or living the parent role, perhaps I’m not alone in facing my dilemma.

We all want the best for our children.  Children want their parents to be healthy, happy, and self-suffi­cient. As parents, we want our children to experience the same well-being. The difficulty for me in expressing concerns to my children is that they will know my intention is one of caring and not one of interfering. Is there an appropriate way to offer advice when unsolicited?  How does one create and build trust which allows communication to remain open and respected, not shut down and rejected?

My mom is my best friend. I can ask her for advice and she will give me her best shot. When she offers me her unsolicited point of view I listen. While we may not always be in agreement, we respect one another and maintain open communication.

Being a parent, however, changes one’s perspective. I realize  adult children need to be independent and to make their own decisions. And yet, they want our approval regardless of what we really think! So, I’ve decided before I give my children solicited or unsolicited advice, I’m going to first reassure them that my opinion comes from a place of caring, not interfering, and then ask for their permission before giving my true feelings be they positive or negative. After that, the choices they make are up to them!

Our January was a Great JOC Month. We had a great number of New attendees which we hope to see back real soon. We had our Spotlight business, Pampered Chef with Lisa Dewees, a PC consultant for over 12 yrs.
We also raised $40 to donate to the All About Animals, No Kill Animal Shelter in Macon, GA!  Consider participating at a JOC in your area.  You’ll be thrilled you did!  www.TheJOYofConnecting.com Just check out locations.

These Joy of Connecting networking events are coming up in February. Find one near you and start connecting!

Every time you share your ideas you bring value to others. Ideas come in many forms. They can be as simple as a suggestion, create clarity out of confusion, or give insight that is transformational. Your ideas are a reflection of who you are, how you think, what you feel, and what you’ve learned from your own experiences.

Willingness to share ideas is powerful.  There is no way of assessing the impact we have on someone else by offering them our point of view.  Each of us is unique. Our experiences are unique. Our perspectives are unique. No one has traveled your road, been faced with your specific challenges, or possesses your knowl­edge. You are uniquely qualified to be you.  Your ideas matter.

There are times, however, that one could doubt oneself.  You make a suggestion that someone else discounts. You share an idea you want to implement and the response is negative.  Suddenly, you feel self-conscious and unsure. It’s unrealistic to think that every time we have something to say our contribution will meet with unquestioned approval. Because we each differ, it’s predictable  that our points of view will also differ.  The key is to recognize you don’t have to have others’ agreement for your ideas to matter.  They’re important if for no other reason than helping someone define what works for them.

Just as it’s normal to be sensitive to another’s negative response to our ideas,  it’s also important to honor differing points of view.  All of our ideas matter. Whether we agree or not is irrelevant. We can’t possi­bly know the thinking behind every idea. No one can know the same for us. All we can do in a sharing arena is listen, participate, evaluate, and allow the exchange from one to another to produce some action. Never let your reaction to other’s ideas or their reaction to yours diminish what you have to offer.  Some ideas will fly and others will lay dormant. Some will appear well received and others will end up being dismissed. Your ideas have value not only because they reflect who you are, but because they represent the gift you bring to others. Choose your words with care. Share from an open heart. Be eager to listen and learn. Welcome feedback. Remember, your ideas matter.  They make a difference.  You have no way of knowing when or where. Just know.

In the 1800’s Walt Whitman was quoted as saying, “Be curious, not judgmental”.  Unfortunately, most of us see ourselves as the center of the universe. When we are quick to judge others we are really putting a label on them as it relates to our perception. Based on what we consider appropriate, we find fault with some­one else’s hair style, way of dressing, how they conduct themselves, the kind of work they do, and so on.  State­ments like, “I can’t believe she bought that car”, “Did you notice the way he treated his son”,  or “How could anyone that overweight eat dessert” are indicators that we are judging another’s behavior.  What gives us the right to do that?

Each of us in every situation is entitled to make our own choices in whatever way they serve us. When you judge another, you don’t define them, you define yourself.  All judgments are based on what you think. Just as you have control over rejecting another’s judgment of you, it’s essential to give others the same right..  In other words, apply the same principles to yourself as you place on others. There are few of us who can accept frank judgment placed on us. Therefore, why are we quick to place judgment on others? Use your good judgment in all of your situations. Allow others to do what seems right to them.

Very often when you look at the moon, you see only part of it.  You know, however, there is a much larger object there.  Frequently, when  we look or communicate with someone , what we see or hear is only a partial window into their life and who they are. Every person is much more than their appearance or their dialogue. For us to judge what is obvious is to obliterate all that is possible and hidden from view.  It’s more compassionate to honor a person not by how they look or what they say, but rather by what’s in their heart place.

Authentic communication in any relationship occurs when judgment is eliminated. Each participant is free to think, to express themselves, to engage in what serves them best, to make his or her own decisions, and to live life without external limitations. Imagine a world where participants engage life to its fullest potential, are unencumbered, treat one another with dignity, and serve society in a manner that is for the greater good of everyone. When we stop judging others because we differ  and begin respecting each other’s individuality, we can create a better world for us all.

Do these statements sound familiar? “I meant to call you.” “I intended to finish the project before the weekend.” “I’m sorry I forgot your birthday.”  I had every intention of being on time.” “I’ve been wanting to take a class, write a book, or volunteer.”  The truth is we are all well- meaning. The reality is even the most sincere intention has no value without action. The world is full of dreamers. It lacks doers. Intentions are a barometer of what is possible. Actions are putting your intentions in motion. Action, not intention, creates results. The expression, “Action speaks louder than words” is familiar to all of us because it’s true.  Telling me you’re going to do something and not carrying it out is intention; it is not action. We measure  someone’s character not by what they say, but rather by what they do.

Action, on the other hand, always brings results. Results are measurable. Our lives are shaped by what we do consistently.  Think of those times you put your dreams into action. How did you feel? Few people actually do what they know needs doing. Any time you put momentum behind your plan you are already ahead of the crowd! We learn by doing.  It’s easy to sit up and observe what’s happening.  What’s difficult is getting up and taking action. The stronger your conviction, the stronger your action. For any intention to become a reality it has to be launched into orbit. To get ahead you have to get started. While the majority of people have ideas; only a minority do something about them. Thinking about what you want to do or hoping something will happen, gets you no where. If you don’t make things happen, things will happen to you without your consent.

What have you intended to, told yourself you were going to do, and neglected to implement? What keeps you from moving forward? Every action is a step that will increase your strength, your skill, and your confidence. Getting started has its own reward; Action energizes. It strengthens one’s resolve to do more. Putting your thoughts into action requires focus and determination. Begin where you are and go where you want to be. Implement a plan and get started. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one.  Do what you’d rather not do to prepare for what you want. Choose performance over promise; Choose action over intention.

I’m realizing that life is one big lesson. It’s a series of moments and choices linked together over a life time which create our memories, feelings, actions, decisions, and perceptions. We experience life based on a combination of these occurrences. As we participate in life’s journey we are either “learning” or “re-view­ing”.

When learning takes place, it becomes the fertile ground for new information and ideas, for other ways of looking at what exists, and opportunities for growth. Learning precedes change and accepting and acknowl­edging change creates new behaviors. We are all continually learning, changing, and growing. We read some­thing about health and decide to incorporate new choices into our lives. We meet someone who enlightens us and we decide to work on some personal issues. We see something that enrages us and we vow to take positive action. With each step of life’s journey we advance because information and people  influence our thinking and behavior.

Sometimes, however, we choose not to be in a “learning” mode.  When we take time to look back and examine our life, we are “re-viewing”. We can’t possibly know where to make advancements if we don’t take the time to assess where we are. Reviewing one’s life is our way of acknowledging ourselves and accepting who we are. It is exciting to realize we can create our future based on the lessons of our past and expand our reality based on the lessons of today.

Maybe you’re in a “learning” mode ready to break free and create a new you.

Maybe you are in the “re-view” stage. I admire you for taking time to re-evaluate and re-direct your life. Wherever you are, is exactly where you are supposed to be! Remember,  life is one big lesson. You get to showcase who you are to the rest of the world.